Time to Roll!

Last night was great...probably the funnest shift I've had in a long long time. I'll try and give you the play by play!

Logged in...got my car prepped...checked the shotty, checked my M-16, lights camera action!

Checked Department email....hahaha lol

Traffic complaint of a DUI...way out of position couldnt get to it.

Checked a bus stop ...our big one nothin found just a roll through.

Collision...I was like the third person on scene so that ends up being nice...got stuck on traffic directing which is a cake walk...sit there and look good..wave your arms like a big dumb blue canary. Gal hit an occupied parked car...the parked car guy denied being in the driver seat and tried playing the ...uh no he was driving...uh no actually my friend was driving...wait no I was in the backseat...wait no I wasnt even in the car game...all because he had a suspended license....several witnesses put him in the driver seat....we couldnt even arrest him cause technically he wasnt even driving and he had nothing to do with the accident to boot but guess he was paranoid...gave him several several several chances to not lie but he didn't want to play so...despite having no fault at all he got arrested for obstruction...got a DV call over the radio...no one to call so I cleared the scene and headed off.

DV physical domestic...half sister vs half brother. The girl was the older of the two...she was like 25 and he was only 17. She was nice enough to bring him in and take care of him cause mom is out of the picture due to drug addiction. Kind of sad really. Anyway...she gets tired of payin all the rent and bills etc and gets up in his face and they start to argue. She pours water on his face...a shuving match ensues, she kicks him in the balls and in the stomach. Now in the old days I'd say thats fair fame...unfortunately the DV laws mandate an arrest whenever an assault occurs...there is a whole matrix for determining if an arrest should be made depending on who the "primary aggressor" is, compartitive injuries etc. Its kind of like playing referee on a mutual foul during a game...sux but has to be done. She was determined to be the primary aggressor so I had to hook her up.

It was sad because she was in good spirits but as soon as the bracelets went on she started crying...I felt horrible. I mean it really seams like she was doing the right thing taking in her brother and all but the bottom line is you just cant hit eachother etc. She had never been arrested before and I just felt aweful...if it was up to me I wouldnt have arrested her but the state says I have to...sucky. She seemed really scared...I'd be really scared going to jail as well....sux....

Taking the gal to the jail...realized we could kill 2 birds with one stone....back to the collision I go. Picked up liar dude. The DV gal seemed less than thrilled that she had to share a ride with this obnoxious dude who was drunk to boot. Went to the jail....got to see some old friend jail guards of mine...fantastic times. Lots of booking paperwork since it involved 2 different cases...booking forms, citations etc.....

cleared the jail

Dispatched to a found bicycle call.....pretty easy go there....guy says a kid just left his bike here but doesnt know who it is...check the serial number for stolen...get the callers name and date of birth etc then try and fit it into my cramped patrol car a challenge in and of itself. Got it in.........checked the callers name in the computer before leaving...side note came back as a kidnapping sexual offender...scary...seemed like a normal guy...yikes...know your neighbors.

Coffee time at the coffee shop as usual...headed up there...still had the bicycle in the back seat...looked a little ridiculous...bumped into one of my old bestest friends who works at a nearby hospital...always nice to see a friend...caught up a bit and made plans to see a movie tomorrow (now today)...killer. Sat with my patrol partner who had a rider friend riding with him tonight....they sat there for 30 minutes playing on their iphones....jealous I must admit those things are cool. A burp and back in service.

Headed to the station to type some of this paper (short for paperwork)....sit down and not 15 minutes later get dispatched to a suspicious circumstance

suspicious circumstance....man sees kids in an elevator punching eachother cant tell if they are fooling around or really fighting ...type type type..i'll stay at the station a few more minutes and at least type up the bicycle caper...other call can wait a few....cleared the station and headed to it........got there GOA (Gone On Arrival)

Back to the station...type type type

just sat down and 8 minutes later got dispatched to a possible suicidal...

on the way the call got upgraded to a definite suicidal overdose...unk details

Arrived.....first on scene...wait for back up...waiting...come on........get here........wife who had called reference her husband was standing outside waiting...."are there any guns in the house, knives, stabbing weapons, rocket launchers, grenades, bazookas..armed pitbulls with aids? etc ? no no no no no........while asking the questions I see the front door ajar and hear loud screaming/groaning...presumably from Mr Overdose her husband who she called about.....backup gets there....here we go......

walking up to the door.....all things rush through your head....what if he's hiding with a shotgun hallucinating thinking we are going to kill him...what if he has a knife...what if jumps at me...are there other people in the house? What about that armed pitbull with aids...ok if there is a dog in there and he attacks how can I kill the dog....if the dude is in there with a shotgun...can I/should I shoot him....what if he has a gun to his head...what now....etc etc mind racing all within a few seconds...enter the room

The living room is wierd...total sparce apartment...bare bones...no furniture, no tv...wierd...loud groaning around the corner.....start to pie around the corner (tactical term for using a wall as cover moving slowly around it so you can see better without exposing yourself)...pie pie pie...hand on gun hand on gun.....there he was lying face down in a pile of garbage by the kitchen....oh shit knives in the kitchen...think quick.....he's a big guy and he looks psychotic....you know that kind of crazed look in his eyes....he's diaphoretic (dripping buckets of sweat) gasping for air inhale inhale...groan....growl...yell....fuck he's a crazy mother fucker...shit. Anounce yourself (liability...enter defense lawyer..."did he know you were the police."...well I dont rent this chicken shit outfit buddy...) POLICE...WE'RE GONNA GET YOU SOME HELP BUDDY JUST RELAX....groan groan...yell flailing along the ground clenching his fists (pre-fight factor/clue)...shit. Alright here we go....watch his hands, hands have weapons, hands are weapons// allyoop swoop...boom pow kneel down similtaneously grabbing his right hand while my partner grabs his left arm (side note...pimp thinking in sync with good partner work...didnt even tell eachother what to do just did it)......wrestle wrestle...he doesnt want to go with the program......PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK...RELAX GUY..GONNA GET YOU SOME HELP (lawyer shield again..always verbalize things if not to control the guy but for the any witnesses hanging around or a cell phone camera etc etc...looks better that way)....side note lol sometimes I have the urge to yell out "ouch your hurting me i'm in fear for my life!" just for that very reason...lol

Ok back to the fight....partner has one arm I'm got the other...he starts stiffining up and trying to pull his arms underneth his chest so he can lay on them....hands hands hands....whats in his waist band...a gun? armed pitbull with aids? I dont know....hands hands hands...control the hands now! Strong bastard...amazing what people can do when they are on the dope.......one thing for sure this guy had "Tard Strength" and a lot of it. My partner is a big guy 230 pounds and buff...I'm 200 and slightly less buff...but better looking. We started really struggling but we couldnt get his hands behind his back......shit...work smarter not harder right idiot? Time for the batbelt...what do I got....glock .45? maybe a bit much..whoa there buddy....what else...baton? not gonna do much good here....pepper spray? Hell no thats just gonna go everywhere and it ends up getting more in your eyes than his in a small room...good stuff but not real practical and it smells like shit....they dont call it lucifer piss for nothing.........what else oh yeah.....hell yeah.....yee all mighty X26 Taser...ol sparky...excellent choice. Ally-oop got it.......should I staple him (firing the two darts at close range)...luckily my partner was there...TAKE OUT THE CARTIRDGE AND GIVE HIM A CONTACT TAZE!.....good thinking thanks partner...eject the darts now It works like a handheld stun gun.......

IN my hands...ok aim...choose target....fleshy part of the lower back by the spine...lots of nerves and muscles down there....hold trigger, press like a hot iron and apply heavy pressure......CLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACK thats the sound the lets you know its working....SUCCESS! Like a magic wand....desired effect immediately, no more fight and presto handcuffs on. OK good to go...wait oh no...now he tries to headbutt us and kick at me.....ENTER TEX.

Let me tell you about Tex. I'll just call him that because I dont post real names on here. Tex is my other partner. He is about 6'04'' 250 lbs muscle and Tex accurately describes him...yes exactly what you are picturing now in your head.....old school, serious veteran, grizzly certified Bad Ass. "I got this he says" and proceeds to take his huge mits and pretzle the dudes legs up then he takes his huge knee and tex weight right down on the back of the dudes calf....like some kind of crazed carnival rodeo clown out comes Tex's hog-tie rope...yeah no shit.....I've seen these leg hobble ropes before and apparently Tex had one....wrap wrap wrap...in 2.2 seconds like a rodeo dude wranglin a sheep. Truely kick ass. OK send in the hosers (firefighters...they sleep till they are hungry and then eat till sleepy rinse repeat). Here they come and proceed to hook all kinds of computers, tubes, needles, probes, drugs etc up to the guy. Yes he is still trying to kick and groaning like a zombie. and yes crazy eyes still in full effect. Dude was trippin...pretty sure he could taste colors at this point.

Ok situation under control...catch breath....woooooosssssaaaaaaahhhhh. Switch gears detective mode...figure shit out...what happened.....talked to wife and I'll give you the readers digest version..... they moved her from oklahoma to start working at Boeing...he hurts his back on the job and gets fired (laid off i guess whatever...) ouch my back hurts ...translation I'm a horrible drug addict/abuser and need pain meds. Several clinics later and he has a nice set of pain killer cocktails at hand....uses up all the drugs over 6 weeks.....using them as directed of course...by crushing them up, cooking them in a spoon and injecting oxycontin like its heroin. *shit panic..check self did i get poked fighting with this guy*...I think i'm okay...oh great there is a hypodermic needle cap on the floor concealed by the garbage he was laying in...check hands...no blood good...no pricks i dont think....good swhheeeww. Ok so he 's out of drugs and is suicidal today so he thought it would be a good time to take all 50 pills of over the counter chest decongestant.......medics said its like taking 10 or 12 hits of acid....that would explain his zombie rage psychosis we had to deal with.

Off to the hospital...got to see my friend again that I just saw at the coffee shop eariler.....nice to see a good friend. Filled out paperwork...mental health professional is super nice but chats my ear off while I'm trying to write on all there required forms...one of those things where you are talking while writing and you almost end up writing what you are talking about "subject entered into a fit of rage after stating that he wanted to kill himself...yeah you know i do have family from the south and the traffic is bad in that part of town......" shit. Cleared the hospital...

On my way back to the station...to try and remember details from the other 10 reports I took 8 hours ago (thats why your notebook and pen are the best tools you have...good notes are key)......oh wait pass my partner on the road...lets go back him up....get there, he and Tex have a dude hooked up, partner got a ton of dope and cash off the guy just from a simple traffic violation...score.....sure its normal to carry $1000 bucks cash and a half oz of meth oh and a crack pipe....hmm wonder what he was up to that night....helped out baggin and taggin evidence for about 10 minutes.

Cleared.....back to the station.....take a wiz...that felt good....nothin like a good fight to get the juices flowing.......yep felt that good....really good...now I'm thirsty....gulp gulp gulp...no i didnt drink my piss you sickos..I'm at the water fountain. God you guys are sick......you sick bastards.

Sit down....ahhhhh quiet no calls..squak box (radio) is quiet. cricket cricket.....cricket cricket......type type type paper paper paper.....I'm there 18 minutes (no joke Im looking at my notes right now) and get dispatched to stupid malicious mischief report call (damaged property) at a casino.

Go out there...big security guy says someone broke there hand railing at their front entrance....seriously? sigh....ok....lets have a look....yep its broken...broken off from the concrete foundation.....write a statement for me por favor.......wait wait wait...wait ...he's writing writing writing....I go to the bathroom..drank all that water remember.......wait wait...look around...drunk people throwing their money away (not judging done it plenty of times myself)....ok I'm done he says...oh yeah I got security footage of the guy...view the tape...yep..basically the guy lost 3000 dollars at a table (later found out the guy makes 10 bucks an hour..which kind of makes the loss even that more sad)...he gets pissed walks outside and trashes the railing. How much would you estimate the damage to be? Well it happened before and it cost about 400 bucks.....oh and by the way we know who he is...he is a regular customer...gave me his name and date of birth.....

go out to the car and whip out the trusy bail book (your patrolman bible..basically an abreviated version of all the laws/codes/ordinances etc.....400 bucks...classifies it as a felony...whoa! I got a good case now.....run the guys name on my computer and holly shit he has a local address...call the sarge.....hey sarge can I go try and find this guy....sure go ahead....Tex and him were tied up so went over to the address with an officer from a neighboring agency...very cool guy fyi...he helped me out on the earlier domestic. KNock knock knock.......like a family of 5 latinos come to the door and they dont speak any english...I might as well been speaking Russian...I said the guys name and they seemed to understand......they go in the back and out comes this other guy...bingo. Looks kinda like the guy but the footage was a little grainy and now he was not wearing a shirt. I ask him his name and he nods his head......"licencia por favor?" (thank you basic spanish for law enforcement academy block instruction). He gave me his ID and it was him.....the only other thing I could do was say the name of the casino and he nodded...I think indicating that he was admitting that he was there earlier but I dont know...sometimes when someone only speaks spanish you could ask them "do you like birds.....Si..... who are you Si.....what does the color orange taste like....Si..." you get the idea. I asked his brother for his shirt and out came his shirt for him to wear...bingo, it was the same shirt in the security footage...a big picture of Jesus on the back"! Good! yay! clean arrest!

I sat there and attempted to read him his rights (right to remain silent, right to an attorney blah blah blah) but I had to read it in spanish....that was comical....I certainly cant speak spanish so I butchared reading it.

I was feelin good like something out of a cool hollywood movie kinda federal marshal caught the fugitive kinda way....then I got really sad and honestly started feeling bad for the guy. I honestly dont think that he understood what was going on cause I understand a little spanish and can muddle my way through a little bit.....He's in the back of my car and actually seems like a nice, honest hard working dude just trying to get by....I think he thought that he was under arrerst for getting drunk cause he started talking about how he had 8 beers that night......then he started pleading with me thinking that he could just pay the fine right to me or pay for the damage to the casino....probably not uncommon practice back in Mexico....and you could tell he was desperate cause he was crying and they were real tears not drama-get me out of jail- tears. I couldnt explain that thats not how it works here.......so I started driving back to the station and he is crying the whole way talking about how his mom had just died and that he has a son in mexico that he was trying to raise money to send back to mexico for his family...again I believed him just from his demeanor.......but then I thought to myself...no this is bullshit...cant feel sorry for a guy that just wasted 3000 dollars at a casino......wait...but then I started thinking...shit maybe he was just trying to double his money to send back to his family and maybe this was all his savings and he just got stupid thinking it would be a good way to get money faster......went back and forth with how I felt about it.....hard to judge sometimes...people are hard to read sometimes......

On my way back to the station I just kept thinking...shit I dont think he understands whats going on...I thought this cause from what I could make out I think he either thought I was taking him back to the casino so he could pay for the damage or that I was being nice and giving him a ride home etc....sigh...what to do.....I could call a translator service on the phone....that kind of sucks though especially with someone in handcuffs......luckily there was a spanish speaking officer with a neighboring city that was available....I met up with him and this was such a blessing...man just to be able to communicate. He read him his rights (again cover your ass from the defense attorney)....man the officer's spanish was WAY better than mine...that was a relief....he explained the situation to him and how he couldnt just pay me directly. I think it put the guy at ease just understanding what was happening...a very huge thank you thank you thank you to the officer and off I went to the station for some booking paperwork before going up to the county jail.

Off I went.....I think I could make out that he was calling me friend and that I was nice...I think he thought it was cool that I didn't treat him like a dirtbag...probably didnt hurt that I turned it to the local latino music radio station in the car.....I cant stand that stuff but I figured why not enjoy some good homeland tunes if your on your way to the joint. I was able to ask in my spanglish what he did for a living and I think he said that he is a cook and makes about 12 bucks an hour.........sad...he started crying again and I could kind of make out that he was asking if he was going to be deported....I said back to him imigration? La migra? and he was like Si Si......I was able to tell him "minyana...magistrado" trying to convey that he would have to talk to the judge in the morning and I think that did the trick......Si .....Si he said yes yes.

The jail is always a pleasant experience......not. I hate that place...I'll spare the details...

Went back to the station and then typed reports for the next 3 hours.....came home jazzed...great night...great friday...then I sat here and typed this for an hour or so.....wanted to get it posted cause I've left you guys hanging for so long....i'm fricken exhausted.....hope you guys enjoyed it....sorry for the novel!

till next time....stay tuned for the next episode of the recruit diaries....